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Richard's Rules

Richard’s Rule #4

If, while arguing you find yourself saying “Case Closed” or “End of Story”, you’ve already lost (and you know it).

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Business

Today a customer asked me to do something that I thought was completely ridiculous and I told them no. Maybe I’ll lose them as a customer, maybe not. Either way, I’m proud of myself.

FedEx trips me out.

They are so bad at delivery. They rarely deliver on time, never follow instructions, lie about whether or not packages are on hold, etc etc.

And now they’ve started this new thing where as soon as a package ships, they announce that it’s being delivered early. 100% of the time, it’s either delivered on time or late.

CleanShot 2023 09 27 at 01 28 57 2x

Hasn’t anyone over there heard of “underpromise, overdeliver?”

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Richard's Rules

Richard’s Rule #182

When a judge on a cooking show likes the dish that they are tasting, they’ll say how much they love it, exactly why they love it & they may even make faces that show how much they enjoy it.

If they don’t like it, they’ll just describe the dish.

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Richard's Rules

Richard’s Rule #7

If the chicken and waffles comes with strawberries, it’s going to be bad.

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Richard's Rules

Richard’s Rule #41

There is only one toilet plunger. It’s the Korky 99. Don’t waste your money on any other ones, they are only pretenders to the uh… throne

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Richard's Rules

Richard’s Rule #613

If you have a November birthday, congratulations, you’re a Valentine’s Day baby!

Richard’s Rule #962

Many times when watching TV shows, I find myself asking, “I wonder what will happen next?” and generally the answer is “What’s the most dramatic thing that could happen in this scene?”

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Richard's Rules

Richard’s Rule #1

When trying to locate a bathroom in a restaurant, look for the kitchen first. Water lines being what they are, the bathrooms won’t be far.

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Richard's Rules

Richard’s Rule #2971

If someone in a movie or TV show picks up a gun, aims it at someone and does not immediately pull the trigger… they’re not going to.