Something absurd happens.

Jack Bauer is called in to save the day, as no one else on the planet is as awesome as he is at yelling in people’s faces, shooting them through walls, stabbing scissors into their necks, and generally trying to get himself killed.

The other agents speak in “computery” terms that make them sound completely ridiculous to anyone who knows anything about how computers work: “I’m going to vector that firewall’s hard drive to my monitor’s bus!”

The very people who called him in to help actively work against Jack, so instead of having the full weight of a team behind him, he has to work with one or 2 agents who have to cover their monitors and sneak around corners into server rooms.

Jack stabs someone in the neck with scissors/chops his buddy’s hand off/shoots a room of 50 armed men in the face with one clip from his gun/levitates/builds Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, saves the Rebel Alliance, destroys Babylon 4, gives Worf some pointers, and makes it home in time for an early breakfast, where he eats bullets, using bullets, on a plate of bullets.

Jack does not sleep.

3:59:59.